Missy M started school last week. I thought that I would be sat here, typing away with a sense of celebration and relief!
To my surprise, that is not what happened. Sure, I flopped about the house with relief. I read a few books on the balcony last week – mainly because I could (can’t take the rebel out of the girl!), but then I really wasn’t quite sure what to do with myself.
I wanted to write a beautiful and timely article to parents about the back-to-schoolness of this time and say something profound. But I couldn’t. The thing was, I didn’t know what I thought about it, so I didn’t know how I felt about it. It was all a bit of a muddle. I had even written an article about Missy M starting school, prior to the actual event. It sounded rather level headed, balanced and fun. However there is a huge gap between what I thought I would feel verses the wibbly-wobbly reality of what actually happened as she walked out of the front door.
I am proud of Missy M who finally feels ready to walk herself to the big-place-with-books. I am sad that she is now so big and grown up. I am excited for her journey into learning and reading yet I feel a bit lost. I was, and I am, flip flopping all over the place!
How should I think?
How should I feel?
Just as I am in the moment and that is all! Am I confused by my confusion? Not really as it is quite interesting watching all the thoughts whiz around and moods form then dissipate. There can be no other reality than what is – right now. It doesn’t have to make sense. Sense, logic and the creation of a coherent narrative in which to set our lives is an illusion of the brain who adores stories. Life doesn’t tie together neatly: it is far too mysterious and magical for that.
Think how you think!
Feel how you feel!
If in this moment it feels a little confusing or sad, that’s OK.
That is what is happening.
Yet one of the wonders of thought is that it will change and your feelings and mood will change.
@Tammy Furey. Fureycoaching for Parents. www.fureycoaching.com.
Coach, educator, writer, speaker, blogger and, of course, expat Mum.