I don’t know how she does it! The edited highlights..

Yup, I got sick and watched a chick flick. Watch the trailer and it gives you the best bits of the movie (sorry, its true).

BUT
The one thing it did raise for me, and actually made me laugh out loud, was the scene with the Kinder-garden teacher. What is it about our children’s teachers/ nursery workers that can reduce us to the size of a small shrivelled raisin when we drop our children off 30 seconds late or forget the crucial sun hat or wellies?

It’s because we care so darn much what people think of us. Their thoughts –  judgemental or otherwise – scare the hell out of us. I have noticed that we give certain people in our lives heighten power in this area – partners, parents, siblings, parents-in-law, and for some unknown reason, our child’s caregivers (teachers, child minders, nursery workers..).

The thing is: Do we really know that they are thinking? They could be thinking about us, they could be thinking about what to cook for tonight’s dinner or an argument they had with their partner this morning. We have no control over what they think. We could adjust our behaviour in an attempt to control it, and we do, and we get totally exhausted. Don’t we have enough activities in our lives (otherwise known as raising our children) that calls for all our energy reserves?

What makes the difference is not the other person’s thoughts about us – which we already know we don’t know! – its our thoughts about the potential thoughts! When we start thinking about what other people “must think of us” that’s when we start getting upset and stressed. I am not a mind-reader. I am guessing nor are you. So drop the thoughts about the thoughts and focus on trying to remember the sun hat!

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2 Comments

  1. The book is worth a read – I’ve read it twice!
    It made me mad…. and sad. Personally I can’t relate to women who have to control everything and feel they have to do everything themselves. I guess there are a lot of such women in our society – if only they’d turn to a bit of coaching and alleviate themselves of all that – stuff!!!

    Reply
    • You raise a very good point – learning to ask for help is one of life’s great lessons. Help and collaboration can make us stronger, not weaker and move us forward in so many areas.
      It took me 8 years of slogging alone as a freelancer before I thought to ask for help/ a mentor and that experience changed my world. Although with my daughter, I have had to learn that lesson all over again (and I am still learning!)

      Reply

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