(Or…the perils of green smoothies!)
Yesterday a client asked me:
“How can I really be “OK” in the moment?”
One of the secrets is giving up the idea that what is happening should be any different than …er….what is actually happening!
Let me give an example……
I love green juices and smoothies. I also love staying in bed. These two loves can collide on some mornings, leaving me in a bit of a mess. One particular morning, I had a meeting with a client in the centre of town. So I got up, made my juice, popped it into a container, threw it into a gorgeous leather bag and headed out the door. As I dropped my keys into my bag I noticed a green gooey oozy-ness. My juice had decided that it would much rather be outside of the container, than inside.
In the past I would have started to beat myself about it. I would have internally shouted at my stupidity at not fastening the lid properly. I would have been mad at myself for not getting out of bed sooner and drinking it in the house. I would have replayed the scenes again and again. I would have been upset about the handbag. I would have been panicking at just how much juice was over my beloved phone and how the inside of my bag was now green. I would have become stressed at being late for my client… you get the picture.
I was doing none of this. I went back into the apartment, cleaned up the bag, drank the rest of the juice (is the cup half full or half empty or over your handbag??), rescued my phone and wallet and headed out the door.
Why was I so calm?
If I were to get upset, it would mean that I truly believed, at that moment in time, my handbag should not be covered in green slime; that my handbag should leathery perfection. It wasn’t. It makes no sense to think it “should” be anything more or less than it was. Green.
If I were to beat myself, I would be believing that replaying the crucial screwing-on-the-lid moment would magically change that moment, resulting in juice staying in the container. I can’t time travel (shock!), so it is a fruitless exercise (although the smoothie was full of fruit!). I will however remember that the lid has two parts and both must be screwed down. Next time I will be a master lid-screwer-on, but at that moment I was not, I was a master handbag cleaner.
And late? Well I can only move so fast through time and space. I can travel as fast as possible and no faster. I can choose to arrive a flustered, red faced coach or a coach that is ready to work with her client. Which would you prefer?
So how do we NOT make life’s incidents into stressed out dramas? By accepting what is in that moment and taking the necessary action (or not). Anything else is our minds tumbling into confusion and pain as it tries to time travel whilst shouting at you. Unpleasant. Quite like green oozy, gooey smoothie actually………
P.S – Want to know how to stay in the moment and not get caught in the drama? Book a session now to find out!