Mirror, Mirror

grundtal-mirror__26202_PE093307_S4Missy M has a rather annoying habit: she is a drama queen. She will create a little scene, say on the bus. Then check, out of the corner of her eye, who was paying attention. This bugs me. Why? It doesn’t matter, it is really annoying. Why? I am embarrassed by her behaviour  Why? Because it is what I used to do (darn!). I needed an audience to validate my emotions. Less so as I approach 40. I now blog, write, speak. Things haven’t changed much.

Missy M has a rather annoying habit. She talks to her Kindergarten friends in a garbled mix of English and very bad Swiss German. What must they think of her? I know she is amazingly smart. She must know the words, so why doesn’t she say them? I would never do that. But I do. I speak I horrible discordant mix of languages. I can only credit my friends for being able to follow the winding river of English, German and bizarre body language as I dance the dance of communication. No wonder I am embarrassed. I am embarrassed for me. I am a mother who wishes her child to move beyond her mother’s capabilities.
I am only capable of seeing her actions through my own thoughts. Her actions are not hers. They are what I make of them. By judging her I am always judging me. She is my mirror.

The people we are in relationship with
are always a mirror, reflecting our own beliefs,
and simultaneously we are mirrors, reflecting their beliefs.
So… relationship is one of the most powerful tools for growth….
If we look honestly at our relationships,
we can see so much about how we have created them.

Shakti Gawain teacher,author (b1948

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